Life has been rushed lately. It’s been flying by with responsibilities and expectations, assignments, daily to do lists and three calendars to help me remember things. Maintaining mental and emotional sanity through it all has been a definite gift from God. Three weeks have flown by, yet the past three days have seemed dragged and endless. Time is moving quickly and each day I wake with a head spinning, ready to go onto the next task, which usually involves dragging myself off of my bed and straight to the coffee. All this to say, I haven’t stopped. Even when out with a friend and having a good time, we’re talking about our future, or how much homework we have. When I’m laying in bed minutes before I drift off, I’m thinking of all the things I need to get done tomorrow. Oh, and when my brain isn’t overwhelmed with all that’s being asked of me or of what’s to come, my thoughts guide me into the future. GUYS. I don’t know how many times I’ve been asked the question, “so what do you want to do with your life after grad?”
As I engage in classroom discussions about issues we care about and how we want to use our strengths effectively in contribution to society, or as I involve myself in an internship, different groups and people – I find myself trying to wrap everything neatly together to gift myself with the perfect future. In conversations with close friends we get heated up about subjects we’re passionate about and envision the things we can do. We dwell on the dissatisfaction of how the world is now and yearn to fix these things.
Honestly, it’s all good stuff.
And that’s it. My head is trying to get ahead of myself. Maybe you do that too. Where your head is trying to make the future perfect, thus taking over our present. I mean, it’s human tendency to want to restore and fix what is wrong now. If you know me, I like to know things and to organize things so that everything works out. But that really isn’t the point. Because nothing ever works out. Nothing by my doing will ever reach perfection.
My mind is constantly moving because of this dissatisfaction. Dissatisfaction of the way things are, the broken world. Eagerness to get to it, to get into the future.
We need to be SATISFIED with the present. To refocus our minds on the now, not the future.
So am I willing to break and fail? Can I stop and tend to my aching heart over my task oriented mind? My mind has been so focused that my heart has grown weary.
I need to be weak. I need to let God hold me. I need to focus my heart and mind on God so that they can be on the same wavelength. Right now my mind is moving faster than my heart and it’s moving farther apart. Let’s back track and remember where we are right NOW. Not tomorrow, or next year. But now.
As I enter into this year full of to-do lists and unending responsibilities, I hope to remain in the present and keep my head and heart connected, as close as possible. We need to remember that God has made us for now, for this moment. The future will soon come and when it does, will we be thankful for it or will we be looking into the further future for more? Where are we now? Can we be satisfied with what NOW is?
If you read this far, I hope that this doesn't discourage you to keep doing good and striving for eternity. But there isn’t much we can do in our own strength to restore things or to perfect our future. We can only do our best to search for Christ in the daily things. My hope for myself and for you is simply this: to be satisfied with the present, and be yearning for the hope of Christ.